cut above the rest

Monday, June 26, 2006

comedy of errrors

Thought would unquote some of the quotes that I have heard over the period of years.

My former boss, "I have travelled all over the world but I have never seen anything like this. You look like twins."

A Pakistani Taxi-driver in Dubai, "How is that person related to u?" The answer begot an exclaimed, "Mashaallah! U look like siblings."

My Hair-stylist here in Vellore, "Hasn't Anna (elder brother) come?" I asked, "Whose Anna, yours or mine?"

Do U remember my vegetable-vendor, Orange?
Her outrageous question this morning, prompted this blog.
In her hurry to have a drink of water and not seeing clearly, she asked my Mom-in-law,
"Who is sitting there? Is it Anna or Akka(elder sister)?"

This is to say, that all these people and many others were referring to My Husband and Me.
Remember we are not, even remotely related to each other, I mean literally as well as in our Natures.
We are Poles apart.
I wonder how people across the globe seem to think alike!

Sometimes I contemplate as to how I am supposed to react to all this.
Do I have to feel ashamed, as some in our family circle do or do I thank God for a Wierd Gift like this?

Even my own mother gets confused with our voices and surely she is not the only one.

I hope and pray that all this continues and the merger- of 2 beings into One Body, One Soul and One Spirit- remains rock solid by God's Grace.

Monday, June 19, 2006

my father

Have been missing my Father from the morning. I want to feel his presence, go near him, lie next to him and tell him how much I love him.
I also want to apologise to him for not being the best daughter. I don't even know whether I have even been a Good One in the least.

None of these are practically possible. I haven't seen him in 13 years. He is long gone... Gone to be with his fathers and My Father in Heaven.

Ironically today I only have as much as of a faint memory of my Dad.
He was soft-hearted, kind and a very generous man. He slogged for the welfare of the whole family, self-lessly.
He was a very obedient son, a passionate husband and a loving dad.

Was he perfect? No. He was very stubborn on certain issues. He wouldn't change even if the situation demanded it, not even for the sake of his loved ones. I would call it his weakness.

Was he recognised and appreciated for all the good that he did in his Lifetime? -----
A definite NO-NO.
Did he a get a good name after his death?
Loads and loads of Lip-service and crocodile tears-YES; anything more-NO.

Never to forget the one name that he earned as he lived and died------ A SPENDTHRIFT. (Remember this when U help members of ur not so immediate family.)

One thing that I learnt from his life---not to be as blind-foldedly generous, loving & soft as he was!!!

But as I conclude Psalm 37:25 of The Bible comes to my mind.
The Psalmist says: I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the Righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread.

One thing for sure, My brothers and I have not been forsaken on any ground and we have also not begged for bread. It has always been laid out inspite of very tough financial hardships.

Do I need a better Testimony than this?

a very fine delineation between healthy competition and envy

I see a very very fine, almost non-existent line that divides truly healthy competition and envy/jealousy.
A huge reason for concern in this modern world----the amount of competitive spirit that kids, in our part of the world, are being fed!!

A profoundly solid value system can only save the system.

My personal opinion : I can definitely afford to compete against my ownself, better my previous performance and aim for the stars.
But competing with my friends? And to what degree? And then, would I really regard them as friends.
Where in the world has a competitor been a true friend?

And so what are u left with --- feelings of animosity. And does this spirit spare even the members of the family? Not that I have heard of.

home for charity or orphange ------ which of it?

A charity home and an orphange are words used interchangeably in the world today.
I honestly think that they are antonyms.

The reason -- a recent visit to an orphange here.

This orphange is actually a home for the dying destitute. It houses around 80 women inmates most of whom are mentally retarded, and of varying ages. And also that women dying on the streets are picked up atleast to give them a dignified death.
A few nuns dedicatedly and self-lessly run the show with the help of a few other hired workers.

The motive of the founder, ' No human being should die on the streets as humanity has a certain dignity attached to it.'

They are not self-sufficient as they are situated in a forlorn area and not much help comes their way as people in the town don't even know the existence of this place.
A better place was rejected by the founder as she wanted the house to remain in the midst of her people ----THE POOR.

And this is what I call a Charity home, a home filled with love and charity though the inmates might be 'Orphans' as per the definition of the world.
Would they be better off even if they had been in their own houses with their so-called people?

The first time I visited this place I was uncontrollable. The reality of their situation was too much for me to handle. Any disdain for them --- definitely not.
They fight, shout and do other wild things---- yes naturally-----they are not in their right minds.
But how many of the so-called sensible, intelligent and mentally healthy people do the very same things and while away their entire lifetime in feelings of hatred?
Is our world any differnt from theirs?

And as I started out towards my house the gate was closed by a smiling (only male) inmate, who is mentally challenged, as per our terms.

At the end of it all I couldn't but realise how blessed we are and how much of life & things in our life do we take for granted!!!
And not to forget our (immensely vital?) priorities of superseeding others in terms of looks, health,wealth, education, job e.t.c. !!!!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

an amalgam of modern and primitive art forms

And do u have any clues as to where this amalgam has taken place?? Right here on my palms. At the cost of 2 pain-staking hours.
Today I am a juxtapose of Modern, illegible, bold, vibrant and stunningly unfamiliar art form on one hand --------- Primitive, legible, plain, beautiful though boring and regular art form on the other.

Yes, I am talking about Mehendi or Henna designs on each of my palms. The designer-cum-photographer-cum-teacher worked with immense patience and reliance last night for around 2 hours to give the splendid results.

My favourite is the Modern art and his favourite is the Traditional art which is to say that the left is of my choice and the right is of his choice.
And to imagine that with such work I am going to attend a wedding and a betrothal!!

The Left is here to stay as it has deepened to a very bright red hue as can be definitely predicted and the other is a little less coloured and is sure to fade away as would the choice of art.

Boldness at its peak are my palms this day and will remain so for days to come.

But I am most thankful to my mehendi/henna-designer as he done a great job inspite of the tantrums and the perfectionist's idiosyncracy (only when it comes to applying mehendi).

He does what my mother wouldn't do!!! Apply Mehendi Designs on my Palms (and this is reason enough to bring tears to my eyes.)

a friend goes forlorn

Why would a friend suddenly distance himself? He calls it his need for space and freedom. I have my doubts. I wonder whether I have hurt him through my words!! I checked and he denies. I have even apologised. I am confounded.

Oh my heart!!! It doesn't understand the moods of the friend. It aches for his prompt sms es and what to say of the pain of not having long chats over the telephone?

Why doesn't my friend understand the pain that he is giving me.? He will not understand because he is not like me. He will only think that I am over reacting and refer to me as the enforcing woman.
How long will I have to wait for him to get back to his mood?
Is he avoiding me? Have I treaded into his not-to-be-touched territory?
Or is it just a matter of simple and plain self-control so that he doesn't get very attached and emotionally charged????

Patience I believe is the name of the game, as in all other relationships especially if the friend is new found and the relationship is only in the growing stage.

Years and years go into building a relationship.
I am willing to give this relationship the time and the nurturing, for in a long time have I found a good friend and hope and pray that this relationship lasts a life-time.

This relationship is very important for me as well as for the Teacher.

The consolation that a friend can give ( a friend who uses his heart and not just his head) -----
And Oh ...... The sweet soothing balm that a friend can be!!!!

And this also brings to mind an incident that took place years back. Yet another friend just stopped talking to me. I used to feel so bloody miserable that I would cry endlessly and even go to the extent of begging her as to the reason for her indifference.
But she couldn't care less and that was the end of our relationship.
I tried my best but of no avail and after a point neither could I care less ( but reaching that point of DONT CARE was not easy for me.)

One of the first few things that I told my Husband after marriage was that the one thing that I cannot handle was a sulking man. I said, "If u r annoyed yell at me, fight with me or perhaps even beat me, but please for heaven's sake and my sake..... do not go without speaking. It really kills me." Why ? I have no clues.

Any difference can be voiced out and sorted out but silence in my opinion in this context does no good.

And now the case in context------ had a tete-a-tete with my friend only to find out that it was just a matter of mood swings, boredom and nothing more.
I am glad that the whole episode has ended on a positive note.