cut above the rest

Thursday, March 30, 2006

finally the teacher-at-work

a tearful would-be teacher

a toddler teacher

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

of the possessive nature

I wonder why some women/men r extremely possessive of their husband/wife that it even borders on suspicion and distrust.
Love cannot possibly be the cause, as in love--- trust and freedom form the foundation.

It is the fear of losing that person to somebody else and this comes up with constant comparison of the self with others.
Deep rooted insecurities can be another reason especially if the marriage has resulted in their betterment in every sense of the word. Sadly though, partners r treated more as things rather than living and breathing human-beings.

This type of behaviour wld only stifle the relationship. The possessed partner wld start acting in front of the other. He/she wld cringe and feel disgusted about the whole thing in their beings.
The words Love and Respect fly straight out of the marriage.The relationship turns sour and traumatic for both. On the ouside everything wld look calm and beautiful as in the case of all made-up things.

Communication can be a major key and an understanding & patient partner wld be a great blessing but only in the cases in which the afflicted partner is willing to see reason and understand.

But in some cases it can just be a means to achieve what one expects of the other------there--- God alone can help.

This is true not just of a marriage but of every relationship.

To conclude---- a lesson from nature---for the possessive one.
Pick up some sand and try holding it in the palm. U wld be quite successful. Then close the palm into a fist. Check now. Pretty unsuccessful. Even the little that was, slips through.

Breathe and allow others to breathe.

Monday, March 27, 2006

hellllllllooooo theereee!!!!!

Been a hectic week of courtesy calls, mobile purchases, shopping, shopping and more shopping.
The tides have been low too. Very low infact.

Have ended up with a Sleek, Blllaaack Masculine Nokia 6030 after endless hours of research. A friend's interpretation of the 6030 (a full and a half. Of what ? anybody's guess!)

Went visiting an aunt who is seriously sick. Wonder whether the rapid improvement in medical technology is a blessing or a curse? Have seen people suffer as they r not allowed to die in peace. And that too in the name of life-saving surgeries and life saving equipments like the ventilator.
What is the point in saving their lives ? Is just breathing equivalent to living? The torture that the patient goes through in body, soul and spirit-----what of it? How selfish can the near and dear ones get? Why not let them be? Why fear death, even when we know that it is inevitable?

This is how I feel today. Will I change tomorrow? Needs to be seen.

Also turned into a Reptile murderer this mid-week. Flushed a Lizard, that was making its Escape to Victory ( a Stallone movie that I liked), in the toilet.
Please forgive me, O' U members of the Blue Cross.

Monday, March 20, 2006

a comparative analysis of the general urban scheme and the One India scheme

The analysis is of the General Urban Scheme of BSNL and the One India Scheme introduced by the BSNL on the 1st of March, 2006.The analysis is for the landline.
Upfront it doesn't seem very lucrative but actually it is beneficial because of the differences in the pulse rate inspite of the No Free Calls and Heavier Rent Per Month. The benefit comes to about Rs.700 for 1000 calls made in a month with the given assumptions. Read more .... This scheme is better than all the other schemes. But it is profitable only for those who have a huge S.T.D. and Mobile billing and not for just the Local Call Makers.

Even in the case of Post-paid cellular cards this scheme is definitely useful. I have no clues of the benefit for Pre-paid cards.

the real test of character

The acid test to determine the real character of a person----- Give that person some good quantum of money and say, " Give it back at ur convenience."
And man is it foolishness at its height? U have to be as brave-hearted and as stupid as I have been.
Virtual disappearance from that person's priority listing and sight is the next consequence other than the feeling of being used and thrown out straight into the dust-bin.
Bottles and bottles of tears run into the drain and loads and loads of humiliation------ the dessert topping. More so, when U intend to be kind and good enough not to ask the money back.
There are times when U are ignored to levels that, U start to question the very existence of the being.
And after years and years of unwarranted and perhaps even unnecessary patience and goodness, if U bother even to hint at the possibility of a pay-back, all that U receive is a
blank stare, switched-off mobile and no response at all ends and by all means.

At the end of the endeavour, U end up wondering as to why people rub U on the wrong side all the time and why is it that they love to bring out the worst in U?

As I conclude I remember my sister-in-law's wise remark, "Don't expect people to know their limits. U tell them what their limits are."
Isn't that a positive note to conclude the month's heavy trial of give me my due rigorous scheme of events????
Wish had spoken to that wise young lady much earlier.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

contemplation ----- mobile

Have been contemplating the purchase of a mobile phone. Am impressed with Nokia 6030, but family not very impressed.
Another favourite is Motorazr v3. But got some negative feedback.
Wld welcome any suggestions for a suitable mobile. Price upto Rs. 10000 is viable.
Any specific model recommendation of Samsung mobiles wld also be very helpful.
Feedback on the favourite models wld be of great help.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

the approval seeking self

Why does my heart crave for approval? Why do I still want my Mother to say that I am a good girl or the best daughter ever? Why does my heart ache when she doesn't commend some achievement of mine?
Why do I constantly ask my husband whether I am a good wife to him? Why do I ask my husband 1 million times a day whether he loves me? Why do I always ask my MIL whether I rob her of her freedom in any way ---whether she does things to please me or is it of her own accord that she does or doesn't do certain things?

Why in the world can't I just be me and care a damn for what even my dear ones have to say of me? But unfortunately this is RR and I care that I please my loved ones.

But in the ultimate analysis I know that I cannot look at man and wait for his approval.
I am supposed to bother myself only about pleasing God.
Man-pleasing involves lot of pain, hurt and unnecessary anxiety.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

remember the time (RR not MJ)

I am reminded of my Munnar trip as I start to plan the summer vacation. Munnar is a beautiful place, as much mystical as it is serene. I had gone with my husband and a cousins' family. My husband's cousin married my cousin and so the term -cousins' family. They have two lovely daughters.
We went in the month of December actually on the 1st of December 2005 and returned on the 6th of December. We started out from a place called Tiruvannamalai in Tamil Nadu by road. The car was an Indigoed Tata Indigo.

We took a long route to Munnar via Salem and Trichur, as the roads were a mess due to very heavy rains in the months of October and November in Tamil Nadu.
The journey was very pleasant and we had a good time listening to some nice music, with some of us shaking our bellys even.
We stayed overnight at Trichur in Hotel Elite International. The next morning we visited a clean and traditional Gurvayoorappan temple at Trichur and headed out towards Munnar. The 150 kilometres took us almost 5 hours to make, with a stopover at a keralite restaurant for a delicious keralite lunch, the receipes of which I cared to pick but not make as yet;
topped with a quick water-fall wash.

The route was cold and misty. The hills and the view stupendous and the impression -everlasting.

Our destination was the Club Mahindra Resort, supposedly in Munnar but actually 18 kms away from the town.
When we finally got to CMR after a few misdirections, we were thrilled. The place is ideal for a romantic and leisurely vacation but I had 4 Khabab Mein Haddis (4- Khababs with bones) ------just kidding.

The CMR is spread out over acres and acres of greenery and tea-estates with even a lake passing through. The rooms are well done and the restaurant is very good too, offering a wide variety of dishes. The prices work out reasonable for the members.
There are other sources of entertainment too.
Long walks with good companions- a must.
Echo point (the picture above) ---a sight-seeing option----worth it. The speed boat ride-- fascinating.
The dangerous twists, turns and twirls of the speed boat --very very thrilling and very very addictive.

On the final day a Theme Dinner is served. That weekend was the turn of culinary delights of Chettinadu. A Karagattam dancer displayed his histrionics as well. He did a fantastic balancing act of having a huge brass pot on his head and dancing with it & dared even to stand on four glass soft drink bottles with it.

The most cherished memory for me--sitting outside the room, on the comfortable wooden seats drinking in the heavenly view and sipping the simmering hot cups of black tea with sugar and just a dash of lemon through the early morning into the late nights and sometimes even chat with those around.

The return was through the Udmalpet route- very slow but far more scenic and picturesque.
Stayed overnight at Erode in Hotel Meridien. We were sapped by the time we reached Erode.
Returned to Tiruvannamalai on the afternoon of the 6th.

A long haul but a memory for a life-time.

Thanks dear cousins- U made this possible as u chose to be a member of CMR.

P.S. : Trichur and Erode good stopover points with good hotels.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

exhilarating and invigorating morning walk

On my way back from the morning walk, a woman said something. I did not follow what she said, I stopped and said "enna?" or "what?" for which she asked my help to lift something.
That something was a huge V-shaped steel vessel full of cow-dung. I silently obliged. She even asked me to set it straight on her head. I did. Then on reflex checked my hands (of course only after I moved away from her) and much to my displeasure found just a bit of dung on my fingers.
And the remaining part of the walk I treated my hands as the condemned parts of my body- keeping them at a safe distance away from my body.
Went straight to the wash in the backyard (did not even want to enter the house), washed my hands well, took a fragrant liquid soap, washed it further still and only then rested.
Even after that I wld check my hands for foul smell every now and then, for the next hour or so.

After this whole exercise, certain thoughts started erupting in my mind.

Which part of the body wld that woman treat as the condemned part?
In all probability she wld have to collect cow-dung from upon the roads on a daily basis, ( since sophistication is not part of the game--naturally with her bare hands) shape it into a flat thin cake and dry it on a wall as in the picture above.
She wld use some of the dried cakes as cooking fuel, and sell the remaining for a meagre profit;
as the dried cakes are used for doing 'Poojas,' or 'holy religious ceremonies' and in lighting funeral pyre e.t.c.
What of those involved in cleaning/clearing drainage/garbage??

It is humbling to imagine that it is routine work for them and perhaps even their only source of livelihood.
I felt disgusted at my peevishness. It also greatly disturbed me that we don't take much note of these things in everyday life and remain unaware of the graces and blessings we have.
We look at people who r better placed than us and feel jealous.

How many times have we looked at people, lower than us and thanked God for whatever we have or whatever we are?

Monday, March 06, 2006

driving in India

I believe, if I achieve expertise in driving in India, I can do anything under the sun.
Maaaan is it tough?? We have everything on the road --- from ants to dogs, cats, cows, donkeys, all kinds of vehicles, bicycles, haphazard pedestrians and some times if ill-luck wld have it, even elephants.
The other day while driving on the highway I went over something that looked like a rope, and a little later I cautiously asked my husband about it and he said that it was a dead snake.
The divider that is used to divide the lanes on the National Highways ( especially the beautiful and noteworthy Golden Quadrilateral) , is used by villagers to dry their clothes. U will not even believe what I write. One day I will capture a picture and show u the truth of it.

Am I ashamed of my country---- definitely NO. But it is a source of ire at times, especially when I am at the wheel.
The traffic is so ridiculous, and the people so inconsiderate even to cars that have a L-Board on them ( indicating that the driver is a learner) that it turns saints into beasts. The poor Saint that my husband normally is goes crazy and wild when I drive.

Of course there r reasons other than just traffic. His sense of judgement and my sense of judgement differ largely.
He is too slow for me and I, a little too fast for him.
And any day, a man believes that a woman cannot drive good enough; and especially so if he has years of experience and the poor woman ( that being me) is learning only now or atleast practising only now, the result can be left to anybody's imagination.
The irony is that I know to drive ( or so I believe, much to the chagrin of my dear); and practice is all I need.

And mind u, there r people of a particular kind in the same country----- who seem to be oblivious of the existence of modes of transportation other than cars and that too self-driven cars ------ MY MY!!!!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

feeling down and out

Wish my dear one realises how very precious he/she is to me.
Wish he/she realises the amount of pain that he/she is giving the family by his/her wayward ways.
Wish he/she goes closer to God.
Wish that he/she realises that his/her acts, are almost disrupting the faith of the whole family.

Oh so!!!! The pain of betrayl, the heart-brokeness of dear ones, the tears of the beloved, the wrong (ill-fated) seeds that r being sown ---- the harvest of which is bound to be self- destructive, the seemingly unanswered prayers; what else can I say?

Trust in man, whoever it might be, turns out to be a fallacy and an impossibility.
U almost feel, that even God is not worth the trust anymore; but naturally (when I cannot trust the loved one I see, how in the world can I trust the god that I don't see??? )

U reach the tethers end and feel like telling the Lord, "Please, enough is enough. This world is too much for me. Gather me into ur arms and take me away from this wretched place, where only bloody ungrateful pigs live."
U are treated like a dust-bin ---- used and thrown away - for some god-damn selfish reason of his/hers.

But my God teaches forgiveness, He who was in far deeper pits than the ones I am in today. Have no choice. Got to go, sit at his feet and get the grace to forgive, get healed and move ahead. The consequences for my dear one --- needs to be seen.

I can only hope and pray that his/her ways be changed and something good comes out of the whole experience for each of us.

Friday, March 03, 2006

the ox and the cart

This morning, during my daily walk; I saw a bullock-cart or should I say an ox-cart. The ox had a metallic cone-shaped covering for the tip of its horns, with salangai or round shaped metallic bells attached to it.
This attracted my attention. I was actually thinking about its use.
I have known that such bells are tied around animals' necks to trace them, if they r lost while grazing, and maybe even as a decorative piece ( for the animal). And necklaces made of black thread with small shells for pendants are also tied in the belief that it wld ward off evil forces.

But the bells on the horns intrigued me--- went back home, and started a brainstorming session at home-----at 7.30 a.m. in the morning.

The results were amazing.
That the sharp horns shouldn't get chipped off.
A piece of decoration.
To serve as music for the cart-drawer, maybe even as he sleeps occasionally, on the long and often tiring journey.
To warn away snakes or other dangerous animals in the dark. (The necklace and the horn bells jointly work towards this end.)
To warn people off, if at all it is in a mood to attack.
To serve as a horn (hoot), to help people know of its arrival.
To serve as a protection, when it scratches itself with its sharp horns.

I am reminded of Shakespeare as I conclude. I have read that his work was not recognised nor was it a big deal when he was alive. But later his works were interpreted and inferred to degrees that he is called a Genius now.
If I happen to meet the cart-drawer tomorrow and ask him the purpose, in all probability, the answer wld be 'chumma dhan' which means ' just like that.'

All this apart, it has been my dream for quite some time now, to go on a bullock-cart. This is all the more reason why I stare at a bullock-cart with yearning, whenever I get to see one.