cut above the rest

Sunday, March 12, 2006

the approval seeking self

Why does my heart crave for approval? Why do I still want my Mother to say that I am a good girl or the best daughter ever? Why does my heart ache when she doesn't commend some achievement of mine?
Why do I constantly ask my husband whether I am a good wife to him? Why do I ask my husband 1 million times a day whether he loves me? Why do I always ask my MIL whether I rob her of her freedom in any way ---whether she does things to please me or is it of her own accord that she does or doesn't do certain things?

Why in the world can't I just be me and care a damn for what even my dear ones have to say of me? But unfortunately this is RR and I care that I please my loved ones.

But in the ultimate analysis I know that I cannot look at man and wait for his approval.
I am supposed to bother myself only about pleasing God.
Man-pleasing involves lot of pain, hurt and unnecessary anxiety.

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