cut above the rest

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

children learn what they live with

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn; If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight;
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy; If a child lives with shame, He learns to be guilty;
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient; If a child lives with encouragement, He learns to be confident;
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate; If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice;
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith; If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself;
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

my friends

Have been thru a particularly stressful time. Have seen a friend in immense strain and pain. His dad was hospitalised for chronic renal failure. I saw the epitome of love in action. Bhaiyya took care of his dad as a mother wld take care of her child. He wld feed him, talk to him, coax him, scold him, love him, kiss him and in all be with him as a source of strength. Much to his disappoinment and grief, his dad passed away on the 15th of january. My friend and my bhaiyya... my heart goes out to him :(

Also lost my 83 yr old friend. My oldest boy friend seems to have passed away peacefully on the 16th of january- but only after succumbing to paralysis since his accident on the 7th of december. A man I am going to miss for the rest of my life ..... his wisdom, his sensitivity and his very sensible, practical advices.......... His love, his response to my tears, his patience in handling my tantrums, his hugs, his pampering of me, his ability to beat me at my arguments and most importantly the memory of the last day that i spent with him on the 6th of december 2006.
I thank god for that day and also my husband for having taken me to his house, having bunked college with little notice. Little did we know that that wld be the last time we wld meet him. The next time I saw him .... he had left his body :(
I know that once born it is only natural that a person dies. Correct. But it is also a fact that i am going to miss him especially in my low moments. I cld talk anything to him. He sounded like me. He wld talk my language .... cut and right. No mincing of words ... no sugar-coated pills. And that man breathed God. A mighty mighty man of god.

And amazing and mindboggling has been my last glimpse of him as well. That day had travelled to blore to pick up my bhaiyya's brother for their dad's funeral on the 17th. Infact when i left kotagiri, i had told bhaiyya that i wld see my boyfriend ( other wise known as selvaraj uncle) in bangalore. I knew that we had little free time before the flight from the US arrived. But I wanted to give it a shot and go to the Home in which he was lodged. We did not know the routes even. Midway thru received a call from Bhaiyya saying that a friend of mine had passed away and that my mom was trying my mobile as my mobile was out of reach. My mom called a little later only to give me the news that Uncle had passed away and that his body was in his house which was close to the Airport and the route to which we knew for sure.! :[
What can I say about that!!!!!!!
But...." THEN SINGS MY SOUL MY SAVIOUR GOD TO THEE ...... HOW GREAT THOU ART..... HOW GREAT THOU ART " and i can most surely hear a heart and voice join me in chorus :)
I was bothered that he was in such a state and only 5 days prior to his death, his sons had him shifted from a hospital to an Accident Care Home. For me that was heart-rending. With 5 well- off sons and a house of his own... he was put in a Home. Yes they might have had their reasons. For me it was difficult. Only the previous day did I get to know of that :(
I was relieved to hear the news that he had passed away. It was better than being in the care of well-meaning strangers. Kith and Kin definitely make a difference. But for him strangers turned out better than his own perhaps. His wife of around sixty years was not allowed to meet him often as she was emotional and 'wld create a scene'.
Though she was thankfully taken to meet him on the 15th i.e. the day prior to his death.
Most importantly he was not let down by his and my God. He was relieved soon from his suffering.

These experiences and people have taught me a lot of things.
Hope and disappointment all at the same time. On one side an almost atheistic son taking extraordinary loving care of his dad [ a dad whose favourite he was never known to be] .... and on the other a loving father being left in the lurch by perhaps church going holy people :(